All of this means that it takes work to be the guy in charge, top, to be dominant — and to do it well. These factors usually occur and motivate us outside of conscious awareness. When we talk about balancing extremes, polarity also comes into play. I find being touched, whether erotically or with a good flogging to be akin to being made love to. Even with vanilla sex, as the top or leader you need to make decisions and gauge the right speed, intensity and flow of activities that will work best for your partner, not just yourself. Generally, the dominant or top only gets touched on his hands and genitals. Socially it could save one from physical danger or economic hardship.
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I find being touched, whether erotically or with a good flogging to be akin to being made love to. Traditionally, if a man was gay he was considered less masculine. This can bring up a strong and powerful longing to receive. We need both supportive encouragement and challenge, rest and exercise, sleeping and waking, giving and receiving. Another reason for the supply and demand issue between gay male tops and bottoms is body enjoyment. When people talk about sexual tension or say there was a sexual charge in the air they are talking about polarity.